Breaking Down

Sigh, I just don't know what to do. I cant get rid of these negative feelings. Paul called me again today and he starts in again about the visiting. Then its other things he was saying to was irritating me and making me mad. By the time we hung up my nerves were so bad. I mean really I was good before he called and he screwed my mood all up. I don't know what to do. I find myself wondering how I got myself into this situation and wishing things were different. I don't know if this is a temporary thing I'm going through or what. I sure hope so. Because I love him but right now I'm just not happy with him at all. It sucks because I have no one to talk to about this and I don't understand these intense negative feelings and emotions I'm having. And he has been calling me so much lately its not helping me because he just keeps during things to frustrated me more, so I'm just so annoyed with him right now. On top of that I'm just tired and frustrated from work too. I really just need a break to get away from it all. I seriously need a mental health day. I've been praying to ask God to help me through this and to show me what he wants me to do and open my eyes to what it is he wants to see. I cant even talking to Paul about this because I don't want to hurt his feelings. I don't want to say something that I cant take back, when I'm not even sure why I'm feeling this way. I mean I have been through so much with him the last 8 years and I don't want to give up on what we have because I'm having a hard time right now. I know that in every relationship there will be hard times and I guess right now this is one of them. I just feel like I'm going through it alone because he's happy right now and I'm not at all.